The Garbage Men
Hello again Kiddies. Your GHOST-HOST, CREEPS, is getting ready to go to my BEST FIEND'S PARTY! His name's DRACULA, and I hear that we're going to have GRAVE CONVERSATIONS aha-ha-ha-ha-ha! But BILE I'm away, would one of you take out the TRASH please? Thank you. It's a FEAR FABLE about two garbage men who can't seem to throw away the mess that they've made. This TRASHY-TALE'S named... A cardinal was hopping on a sidewalk in a neighborhood in Fox Run, Indiana, one Spring morning back in 1970. The bird flew up, in a tree, when a man pulled out of a driveway in a car. He waved to his neighbor man who waved out a window at him from the house next door. Then the neighbor shut the curtain behind the open-window and the man in the car said to himself: "at least the man waved at me. He hasn't talked to me since he moved in two months ago" mumbling. He then drove away. A teenage boy across the street mumbled to himself, "those garbage men are weird". He raced over to the neighbor guy's house and ducked down by the open-window with the curtain. Crouched there in the grass, he whispered to himself: "ew there's a stench!". Eight hours later, the man pulled into the driveway beside the neighbor guy's home in his car. "Hey, Mr. Edmundson, something weird's going on" the teenage boy called to him, running over from across the road. "Evening, Stanley, what is it now?" Mr. Edmundson proclaimed to him in wonder. "The neighbor guys next door to ya there, I smelled a foul odor coming out of their window over there!" Stanley described. "I'll go see what it could be then" Mr. Edmundson told him. He went over to the neighboring house and knocked on the door. The man who waved to him earlier that day answered the door. "Good evening and hello, I am Ralph Edmundson your neighbor next door" Mr. Edmundson introduced himself as, shaking the neighbor's hand. "Oh, hello there Mr. Edmundson, name's Vince Kirby. My Brother Jake and I live here. We work together as garbage men! How do you do?" the neighbor responded to him, introducing himself as. "Nice to meet you Vince I am alright thank you. Pardon me, but there seems to be a peculiar odor coming from your house here. Is everything alright I hope?" Ralph stated, inquiring politely. "Oh, yes, our sewage is backed up, Mr. Edmundson" Vince Kirby cackled slightly. Vince Kirby hauled a huge garbage bag out of his house early the following morning. He tossed it into the back of a garbage truck and then spoke to the driver: "that's the second one, Jake. Let's go!". "Alright, Vince my Brother" Jake mumbled back and he drove off down the neighborhood. But then, the two huge trash bags started iggling and writhing in the back of the truck. Suddenly, a boney-hand tore a hole in one of the bags and poked out of it. Then the hole grew and a human-skull peeked out. The second garbage bag had a hole ripped in it by another skeletal-hand and a skeleton crawled out of each bag, hissing and cracking their bones. "We can dump the bones of The Cranes into the lake a few miles from here Vince!" Jake informed his brother. "Yeah, The Cranes have a nice house and they would not sell it to us, so we had to kill them. Who cares they were old anyway" he added. A skeletal-hand reached out for Jake and got ahold of his neck. Screaming, Jake and Vince saw the zombified-limb of one of their victims. The skeleton hissed eerily at Jake and the garbage truck swerved onto the sidewalk at the one end of the street. It wrecked into a tree and the second skeleton got Vince Kirby by the hair, writhing and twisting its boney-digits through it. The zombies hissed at the garbage men, biting their cheeks as they hissed eerily. Two hours later, Stanley walked over from across the road, seeing Ralph Edmundson smoking a cigarette out, on his front porch. "Morning, Mr. Edmundson, I think something happened to our other Neighbors from over there!" Stanley explained. "Oh really Stanley?" Mr. Edmundson yawned. "Yeah, look!" Stanley pointed to the end of their neighborhood. Stanley and Mr. Edmundson found the garbage truck crashed into the tree and as they investigated, the dead bodies of Vince Kirby and Jake were hunched over inside. Mr. Edmundson spotted the front door of their house wide open. He and Stanley rushed inside to invistigate more. "Why, good morning Mr. Ralph Edmundson and Stanley. We are both back in our home here. Please join my Wife and I for some coffee" the hissing-voice of somebody sitting in one of the two chairs in the living-room invited them. "Oh yes. It is so good to see you two Neighbors of ours once again" the hissing-voice of the person in the other chair told them. Mr. Ralph Edmundson and Stanley discovered who the ones in the chairs were. "THE CRANES!?!" Ralph screamed in terror, seeing they were the zombies seated in the chairs. Mr. Edmundson and Stanley screamed. One wore a gray robe and smoked on a pipe, and the second skeleton wore a yellow dress and drank a cup of coffee by the lamp-light, as their skulls creaked and they hissed away, laughing. Ha-Ha, The Cranes really had a BONE TO PICK with Vince Kirby and Jake eh? They're back in their HAUNTED HOME SWEET HAUNTED HOME now! Dracula's party SUCKED, and here I thought it was gonna be FANGTASTIC. Oh, well, he gave me a copy of Bram Stoker's book about him that he wanted me to BLEED hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!